Publish or perish

I’ve been trying for a while to come up with a retort to this comic from the inimitable Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal that would make the comparison a little more realistic:

ACADEMICIAN versus PERSON FROM ANYWHERE ELSE. Bearded professor: Ugh. We have this thing in academia called "Publish or Perish." Other person: Oh yeah, we have that. It's called "do your job or get fired."

So I drew the rest of the conversation myself:

Bearded professor: Does your boss arbitrate whether you get fired? Other person: Yeah. Why? Bearded professor: Well, you see, in academia we have this other thing called "peer review." Imagine your efforts towards doing your job only counted if they were approved by a secret and anonymous committee of employees from a competing company who stood to gain from your abject failure. Other person: That still doesn't give you an excuse to wear sandals with socks to work. Bearded professor: That one I'll concede.

Academic vs. Person from Anywhere Else, Part II